Funeral
Today was my friend’s father’s funeral. He was of Swedish descent and my friend was half korean. It was a nice gathering and her mother was heartbroken.
He was a marine or in the navy I think, so they had 2 men come out and do a flag ceremony, blow the trumpet and play taps, a shortened version, and so it was actually really poignant. I realized pomp and ceremony are actually wonderful things. They give order and meaning and depth to a ceremony. It’s something to express the appreciation the branch of military had for her father’s service and it was nice. I have to say, it was the first I saw in real life.
My father performed the ceremony and I translated. It was not easy given I am out of practice. I used to translate every Sunday for my father when I attended his services. It kept my korean sharp. I saw alot of old friends from my youth, highschool, and it was good to see them, even in the sad circumstance. My friend herself has lost a parent. I gather that this is something we will all encounter soon, given our ages and basically soon enough we’ll be, one by one, experiencing failing healths of our parents, deaths, and things that happen in life when one gets older.
I think the thing I will remember most is the rememberance my friend wrote and read and how she was able to depend on her father. He was quiet, kind and dependable. He was a good man. Simple and straightforward. He was sensible, reasonable, rational, even keeled. He was always there for her. And that is what she remembers, above all, how her father was there for her. I think about that and death, and life, and you realize that basically when it all boils down to those last moments when people will remember you most, what is it that they will remember you by?
It’s certainly not anything more than the relationships you had with them, that’s for sure. It’s the time you spent, the impressions, the help, the love and the affect one can only have with another person.
What is really there to life except other people and the relationships. Other than that, we go through life, work, make a living, but the relationships and the bonds we have with other people is most important. Coming from an introvert, living with an extrovert, I realize all you have, sometimes, is each other. Money comes and goes. Health comes and goes. Even positive and negative feelings come and go. People who remain in your life are constant mainstays, for those who are lucky to have good people in their lives.
Every once in awhile I take time to let people know how much they mean to me and I haven’t done that in awhile. Please take time out to say a sentence, write a letter, let the one’s you love know how much they mean to you, and what they mean to you. Spend the extra time, linger, pick up the phone and get together with someone who has meant alot to you but you haven’t had time to enjoy them.
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